Beauty In Every Letdown...

New Site

2010-06-29T17:20:00.000-07:00

jobangblogs.wordpress.com

the end of the Chimes and Wordpress frustrations

2010-05-20T02:59:00.000-07:00

The Chimes 2009-2010 staff saw their last deadline night last night (Wednesday). The memory is still rather fresh in my mind, seeing as how it was only a few hours ago. It's been a frustrating two semesters being a copy editor for sure. Not getting formal training, then being told that my work wasn't good enough, was hard but real. I'd like to think I've been able to improve over time, and I end this chapter of my life feeling pretty confident in a job well done... but leave behind some awesome people.

Check that, they're leaving us behind. Our Chimes staff was made up of some frickin' awesome people, and a lot of them were seniors this year, so they'll be going off into the world, getting legit jobs, interning at the LA Times, getting married and probably having lots of babies! Excited to see where they all end up, but even so, parting is such sweet sorrow...

But on to studying for the New Testament Content exam tomorrow. Maybe I'll come back here and tell you how it went. peace.

oh yeah, and wordpress... GR!

Matisyahu - "One Day"

2010-04-23T02:00:00.001-07:00

I love songs with longing, and this song has so much. One day, there will be no more wars. One day, all the troubles in this world will be gone. One day, Lord, one day... one of my favorite new songs, along with "When It's Time" by Green Day.

Lyris:

"Sometimes I lay
under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
then I pray
don't take me soon
cause I am here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day, one day, one day, one day, one day, one day...
It's not about
win or lose
we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way
it might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you no way
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day, one day, one day, one day, one day, one day...
one day this all will change
treat people the same
stop with the violence
down with the hate
one day we'll all be free
and proud to be
under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like
one day, one day, one day, one day...
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day, one day, one day, one day, one day, one day...

There are many more Chelsea Kings out there...

2010-03-03T14:14:00.000-08:00

Hi friends.

I believe it is sad that Chelsea King has been lost to the atrocities of rape and murder. Yes, I believe it is a wrongdoing that should have never happened.

BUT, have we stopped to think how often this actually happens in the world? This is one case, out of hundreds, maybe thousands, nay even maybe millions across this planet. Why does this one isolated incident get precedence over the many other cases?

If I were the victim, I would quite frankly be embarrassed at all the press coverage I was getting. I would be ashamed that though I am already out of pain and misery and in the hands of my Maker, people are still weeping and mourning over me. I would be sad that all the attention is being given to me, when there are lots of other people who are about to go out on a brisk afternoon run for the last time.

My friends, why don't we stop dwelling on things past, and focus on honoring Chelsea's and many others' memory in a more tangible way. I'm sorry if this comes across as insensitive to her close friends and family (my thoughts and prayers go out to them), it is certainly not my intention. But, I feel that people lose focus when things like this happen.

Why don't we focus on rallying our local representatives to create new laws that keep rapists and sex offenders locked up for life? These creeps are not going to change, unless they find Christ. Why don't we focus on perhaps creating prison ministries and bringing these lost souls to the Savior? It's tragedies like this that GIVE ME HOPE that the Church has a role yet to play in these dark days.

Rest in peace, Chelsea King. You were gone far too soon... friends, let's not let this happen again.

Dry Bones and unbelief.

2010-02-23T21:50:00.000-08:00

Just a quick thought. And no, I don't think I feel like copy editing it, so if there are mistakes, apologies.

Yes. Anyhow, this is about something that is so mind-blowingly God that it pretty much dispels any doubts I've been having over the past few weeks.

I have heard the reference to Ezekiel 37:4-5 THREE TIMES on THREE different occasions this week. It was given, out of separate contexts and separate talking points, by three different people.

The first time I heard the passage verse this week, I thought it was rather pertinent to me and my current spiritual situation. Biola President Barry Corey talked about how we need the breath of God in our lives to bring us back to life if we've fallen into spiritual apathy or dryness.

Second time, I heard it in a discussion in English class.

Third time, I encountered it while slaving away at my Theology 2 paper, in the context of how God will take care of us and lay us down in green pastures. Such a comforting thought. I haven't been where I should be in my walk with Him. I need His breath in my lungs... I don't know. Perhaps I'll write something more in depth when my mind is clearer, because at this point, I am having a difficult time focusing.

Also, Mark 9:24. Yeah, I've heard that verse THREE OTHER times this week on THREE OTHER separate occasions. "Lord I believe! Help my unbelief."

"Oh, I'm a believer, help me believe..."

But... hope it encourages. God is real, and he really wants to speak to you, if you listen... He kinda knocked me in the head this week with these things. Mind = blown.

Joy in the face of storms...

2009-05-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from my upcoming We're Awakening blog post:

It's a little difficult to transition from a mostly somber mood to brighter things, but that's part of the whole package in this life. We've got the hope, the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes, and it's those who find joy in the face of storms that I believe are the most courageous. That's why I have so much respect for the kids in Africa who are oppressed by Joseph Kony's rebel armies. That's why I am in awe of the Chinese underground church who are so hungry for the Truth that they would go at all costs to attain it. Those who press forward amidst the hard times are the ones who are truly alive, who have something to live for. I want that. I want something to live for... in the words of U2's song, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for..."

That's the beauty of life. We're always looking for that something. For me, it's God, but I feel like God takes us on this journey of discovery called life, and it's almost like he WANTS us to "climb those highest mountains" and "run through the fields." That my friends, is living. "We were meant to live for so much more..."

And you know, since we're on this lyrics thing, here's the lyrics to a new Switchfoot song that I'm really digging, and really describes my life at the moment:

"Hello hurricane, you're not enough... Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love. I've got doors and windows boarded up... all your deadened fury is not enough, you can't silence my love..."

oh yes.

Time... again...

2009-05-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

Time always grabs me. Makes me think. The end of this semester has really made me start to think about how, in just three more short years, school will be done. Forever. I'll stop just a bit short from saying that I'd miss school... because there are some things I won't miss. But just writing this Hermeneutics Paper and hammering out the final details, I find that I feel a little sad that it's done.

WHAT?! really!? Yes. I already miss the slight thrill I get from gathering commentary books, and genuinely garnering new views on ancient topics. Isaiah 40:27-31 is an immensely important passage in the Bible, but particularly in my own life. It has shaped my years so far. And now I get to write a paper on it and learn new perspectives from the likes of James Hastings and even the great John Calvin.

Yes, I'm going to miss these years when they're gone... I'm going to miss living each day for the sake of learning new things. Work is secondary. Bills, financial aid, and loans are secondary to the primary purpose of Learning. Yes, I will...

but yeah, time is a funny thing. In two week's time, I won't be a freshman anymore. Forever. Yeah, College freshman year gives you a second lease on feeling like the young 'un, but this is pretty much gone too. There's always going to be someone younger than me now. How sad... haha.

Yeah. so woohoo... back to work. =)

Seriously!?

2009-02-21T10:14:00.001-08:00

STOP RINGING YOU FRICKIN' TELEPHONE!

Ok. I'm done.

stealing!

2009-02-18T15:22:00.001-08:00

I'm seriously tired of people stealing my stuff. Stop it! not cool... not cool...

Can't sleep... Sim Paper #2

2009-02-12T01:08:00.001-08:00

I felt like my Sim Paper for Spiritual Formation Class seems blog-worthy...

Job Ang
Sim #2
Philippians 2:1-4
Due Date: 2-13-09
Class Time: 10:30

“Here’s a song about keeping anything together. Whether you’re talking about a band, a nation, a marriage, a church, if unity is anything, it’s a fight to get there. So if this is a song about unity, then this is a song about a fight.” - Jon Foreman

Foreman may have been referencing a timeless verse, or he may have been recounting his own experiences. Either way, unity is not easy. Unity is hard to swallow. It’s a fight to get there. Paul tells us this timeless truth in Philippians 2:1-4, saying, “Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love... fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let NOTHING be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Again, God requires that we put aside our selves, to put aside the one factor that sin has defined in our very human identity: selfishness. I am one of the most self-centered people I know. Every helping deed I carry out for others is also laced with motive of some kind, constantly catching myself asking, “What’s in it for me?” I don’t think there is any one human being who can truly say that everything he does is done out of selfless heroism.

Of course, it’s not as if we have to completely go completely selfless and kill ourselves trying to serve others. Look at the last verse, and you can see that Paul says to not only look out for yourself, but others.

I think that I have found in my own life common threads. It seems that I long so very much for unity with people, but will be put off if they ignore me or pay attention to someone else. But the problem isn’t them. It’s ME. I’m the one to blame. Reciprocity isn’t a one-way effort, but at least we can rest in the assurance that we did our part – if we stepped out in humility, offering to put the other party before ourselves.

And we know that unity is powerful. It has the ability to move the heavens. “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” - Matthew 18:20. So let us strive, and keep up the fight... unity isn’t a walk in the park, but it is worth fighting for.

BLAH

2009-02-07T19:02:00.001-08:00

Tired... of always forgetting things...

I mean, peoples' minds begin to forget things as they get older... I guess I'm starting earlier than most... must fight it.

List. list.

No one is invincible...

2009-02-01T21:38:00.000-08:00

One day, one week, feeling invincible. everything looked great.

then one day, you are sick as heck and struggling to keep away the fevers...

Oh! Irony.

Times of laughing... times of weeping...

2009-01-29T12:22:00.001-08:00

TURN! TURN! TURN! by The Byrds

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late

mhmm... it's always good to be reminded that our lives are short. There's a time for everything...

Need to keep my mouth shut...

2008-12-10T14:17:00.000-08:00

^word

2008-12-03T15:59:00.000-08:00

Fall is in the air... again...

2008-11-25T00:16:00.000-08:00

Today, I don't know why, I've just been thinking about all the things that have happened over the past year. So many things to be thankful for... I suppose it is the spirit of the holidays, but so many things I've seen/read/listened to today and the past few days have really reminded me of things come and gone.

People I've come in contact with, people I've lost touch with, people I've reconnected with, it's like an endless cycle of knowings and unknowings and knowings again. There's particular people I am very thankful to know even more now than I did at this point last year (you know who you are... ;) ) and others that I don't talk to at all anymore.

There's places in life I was in a year ago that I'm not at anymore... not a kid per se anymore, no longer in highschool. I'm in college now, and dealing with whatever comes with that. I've come to a better understanding of who I deal with, and who I am myself.

God is still awesome, He is still amazing. That's the one constant in this sea of change...

Yes, a year has come and gone. It's been more than a month since.... ... ... I still think of how amazing things have come together, and things fallen apart at the same time. I'm so thankful for everything, because there are no coincidences for God.

Who really cares what I write here? Who really cares? Probably no one, but I felt like writing anyways... haven't written something for a long time... we'll see, maybe a year from today, we'll be re-reading this possibly and laughing at how much things have changed by then...

An endless cycle is this funny thing called life. But hey, it's time to live... "death is nothing new, death happens all the time..." Let's sing a song about living...

Thank you Jonas Brothers for covering this important song for me... very appropriate for the mood and brought it to my attention... even in terribleness, you brought out something good:

"Life is not what I thought it was 24 hours ago..." hmm. Fall is in the air... thank God!

Burnin' out...

2008-11-09T17:45:00.001-08:00

"I'm on fire when you're near me... I'm on fire when you speak...
I'm on fire burning at these mysteries..."

Fire is... interesting... I compare it to a wild animal, and at the same time, a house pet. It at one time, can be a wild, uncontrollable blaze destroying all in its path... at another time, it can be the light and warmth to a cold household, a reminder to the chilled heart that they are home... or in a home away from home...

Winter is almost upon us... it rained last night... for the first time in many moons... the refreshing sound of water droplets upon the roof, there's something therapeutic about listening to rain... it reminds you of just how amazing it is to live in a house. It reminds you of a quiet afternoon, makes you want to read a book or something...

"Bring on the rain... bring on the thunder..."

Check this out!

2008-10-28T17:34:00.001-07:00

Nabbr.com

Jack's Mannequin - The Glass Passenger...

2008-09-30T13:30:00.001-07:00

is a freakin' amazing album. BUY IT! =)

Here's the new music video for the single, "The Resolution"

"There's a lot that I don't know... there's a lot that I'm still learning...
But I think I'm letting go find my body its still burning..."

Nothing to offer...

2008-09-25T17:00:00.001-07:00

No words to sing no songs to bring
No joyful hymns sung on faithful whim
Nothing to offer nothin to offer

Undulate the flame catching a glimpse of fame
Killing off the sensitive parts and leaving it all behind

Cooties!!!

2008-09-10T19:37:00.000-07:00

Oh NO!!! It must be REALLY bad! Man, kids these days...

Cooties

Yah... haha. hilarious

Grass...

2008-09-10T19:00:00.001-07:00

I realize now how much I love grass... especially on a windy day...

and maybe a nice tree trunk to lay against. then the guitar. then silence... that's all I need... but that'll have to wait I guess... more things to do... less people to have around... that's all...

Collegiaaa...

2008-09-10T18:59:00.001-07:00

College... peering through shades in the wall, looking on the grassy courtyard below. the walkway teems with activity, my fellow students going to and fro.

Sitting in the dorm room, hearing the banter of my comrades, my roommates. "universe next door... mere Christianity..." is all I hear. Someone is telling me to watch a video on youtube... i ignore it... not out of spite, I just ignore. I turn towards the screen now, Shane and Shane making fun of David Crowder... good humor...

turning to other things. my guitar rests below my elbow... my elbow sits on the guitar... the ipod sits a few inches away from me on my bed.

Aeschylus sits a few inches further away waiting to be read... all the while, there's an overarching scent drifting across the dorm hall, a familiar homey feel that is hard to replace. Three weeks here, and it feels like home... yes, this had become home... friends feeling like family... lots of things here do...

need to get out... need to breathe oxygen... clean clear oxygen. feel the breeze... suddenly feel trapped, suddenly besieged by a headache... must go... must sit outside...

CD Packaging...?

2008-07-26T03:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, something I'm starting to wonder about (because I'm random like that...) is why a lot more CD's are getting packaged in Digipaks? Digipaks = those papery styled covers... kind cardboarded...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digipak

So a TON of my latest CD's have been in digipaks.

Jon Foreman - Fall & Winter (it's pretty sweet though. It's a 4-cd set, and Spring and Summer will fit together with the Fall and Winter packaging. It's hard to explain, but it makes sense once you see it...)

Jason Mraz - We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things (very obnoxious packaging, only because the sleeve the cd goes into is so thin, its hard to get the cd in and out of the case. Crazy awesome drawings inside though... ^^)

John Mayer - Where the Light Is (Pretty much the same situation as Mraz's disc. except it's a double CD set! double trouble! dun dun dun dunnn...)

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian Soundtrack (it's actually the classic cd-to-clip thingy... I dunno what it's called. basically how cd's should be packaged, but in digipak style. I like this the best. and Jon Foreman's too...)

And the newest to the collection,

Jakob Dylan - Seeing Things (same as narnia, pretty much)

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? I kinda like the plasticness of the jewel case still. Digipaks are cool, but slightly irritating at times. (Mayer and Mraz). Hmm... maybe it's the M's in their name... nah...

Maybe it's cuz the record industry is going to hell, and labels are trying to save money? I dunno... I would think plastic is cheaper than paper. I would research this, but I'm too lazy and brain-dead. So yeah, i was just wondering. what do you all think? (anyone who actually reads this crap...) haha.

morning alls...

"Hail Caesar..."

2008-07-23T22:59:00.001-07:00

"...we who are about to die salute you..."

grr....

2008-07-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

I'm somewhat annoyed today... this morning... for no apparent reason... maybe it's cuz I'm psychotic... I dunno...

You know what...

2008-06-18T11:52:00.001-07:00

that's it. that's it. I'm done. bye.

So I guess today...

2008-06-17T15:00:00.001-07:00

starts my first real attempt at recording en ep. That's like, my big summer project. will keep you all updated.

So tired...

2008-06-16T13:47:00.001-07:00

it's like... spiritual and mental...

I'm tired of the uphill climb, the rising and the falling... the roller coaster...

I'm tired of reaching unbelievable heights only to be thrown off by the blowing wind... a straw tossed in the wind, falling back to earth... gravity... falling... aching... decay...

Speaking of which, I have a theory about God... there's this thing where the closer you get to Him, the harder life gets. It's almost like He decides to ruin every good thing you've ever known so all you see is His goodness...

it's the most painful experience, but whatever... gotta deal with it...

it's like... you have those things going your way that you don't really care about... sure you get breaks, but it's the "what the heck.. why in the world do I need that?" type of break...

it's those things you hold dear and cherish that never go your way... there's no way we can be attached to anything here in this world, because it will only inevitably get ripped away... God, I wish Narnia was real...

Ah Narnia... even then, that's a bittersweet world. Not even the old days of talking beavers and dancing fauns lasted... but still!! haha! Laugh... until you cry...

Miss it all already...

2008-06-11T20:36:00.000-07:00

freak... out...

Ok. So today, went to watch an Angels game with stuart. Great fun. Especially cuz the Angels won and Vlad Guerrero just walloped a shot into the second bullpen. Great times. Oh, and getting high on icee (drinking it... natural sugar rush... nothing else, people), laughing at drunk people, and running up the walkways and yelling. Yes, very great times... heh... running up "WALK"ways... ironic...

But yeah. So graduation has come and gone. I miss it all already. Aside from the game today, I've just spend my week at home doing pretty much nothing. Reflecting. I miss being a highschooler already. I miss all my senior friends, some of them I'm prolly not seeing ever again =( and some I will be seeing A LOT of ... Matthew... ahem...

But its all gone now... last week, hangin out, watching P.S. I Love You and Signs at Mo's, going to multiple beaches, falling asleep on the grass for an hour, and WATCHING THE SUNSET in La Jolla... (wish you were there...). But great times all end. We're all just passersby hear on the earth. We can hang around a year from now and talk about all of this... about last summer...

But life goes on. It still hasn't sunk in yet, but its getting there. Wait til Biola. Then it WILL sink in big time. Maybe then, we can have study groups? Yes.

Must write song... (thanks Steven for helping me shake out of my writer's bloc... or apathy... or whatever... with your awesome song. Inspiring. And totally like... sums up my feelings right now. What perfect timing. Check it out.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cG2idgbxVg

Peace out!

Pwned

2008-06-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

effin'... unreal...

Pwned again...

Head is spinning round and round...

swimming down...

dying... it's a wonderful day...

"Oh... I guess..."

2008-04-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

"they'll say I've grown... I know more than I wanted to know...
and I've said more than I wanted to say...." - Jon Foreman

Innocence... something we all lose eventually. It's a harsh and sad reality. Sometimes, looking back on life (which I have been doing because of all those baby pictures for graduation), I think, "How could I have been so naive before?"

There's nothing like the joy you find in the eyes of a child. There's this blissful ignorance, like the only thing that's wrong with the world is the color of the grass, or that your slippers will somehow fly away. (yes, that was my biggest fear when I was little!) haha. But sometimes, life has a way of messing with you... I remember that Randy Newman song, "Our Town" that was sung by James Taylor, telling the story of the passage of time...

"Main street isn't main street anymore... lights dont shine as brightly as they did before...
to tell you the truth, lights don't shine at all..."

and yeah, time does that to you...

the days of innocence, when dreams were frequent and the troubles few... when the world was simpler and everything was possible...

August Rush and Jon Foreman's Spring!

2008-03-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

Check these out!

AUGUST RUSH SOUNDTRACK

There's something about this movie and the soundtrack that make me want to choke up everytime I hear or watch it. I'm not quite sure what it is. The heartfelt storyline, with its gut-wrenching-twists, definitely is a huge reason for this probably. But the musical atmosphere is just unworldly. Whether its the etheral musical instrumentation, the unreal guitar work of Bari Improv/Ritual Dance, or the raw vocalization of Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who plays Louis Connelly--the honesty in this musical work is unmatched by many in today's music scene.

JON FOREMAN - SPRING EP

This Spring EP Captures the feel of the seasons almost perfectly. "Love Isn't Made" is probably the best song about love I have EVER heard. Definitely one of the best in recent memory. It isn't cheesy, weepy, nor is it about a relationship/heartache cryfest. That's probably the charm of it.

New life and rebirth now have to perfect soundtrack for their arrivals into the world, after the chill and death of Winter...

Beautiful Day...

2008-03-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

"It was a beautiful day ~insert rousing arena sounds~ Don't let it get away..." - U2.

Too bad those kinda days do get away. Man, its days like this that remind me why I'm living in San Clemente. Sure, a lotta my friends live approximately 57 miles away, but man, look at the frickin crystal clear blue skies, palm trees everywhere, and just utter beauty... Can't complain about that... until you see the gas bill...

but yeah, these days should happen more often... i wish i wish...

Starry starry sky...

2008-03-04T14:24:00.000-08:00

“when I look at the stars, I feel like myself…” – Switchfoot

So yeah, last night, there was quite a lot on my plate... an abrupt end of a chapter in the book of my life, and the beginning of nothing…

And then, there were the stars in the sky…

I remember one time, back when I was little, we were with family friends, camping in Yosemite… what a beautiful place… and the stars were all over the sky. Like, millions of em. That night, I got a glimpse of what the sky must’ve looked like when God was talking to Abraham…

Stars have always held a special place in my heart… just the vastness of the sky they are suspended in… I think God must’ve had a ton of fun throwing them out there… and when I look at those stars, I do feel like myself… small and insignificant…

Breathing in the night sky last night, I found myself feeling space, feeling free from some of the things that had happened just a few minutes before… away from the politics of humanity, away from the utter pain and disappointment that comes with feeling like a failure, the rejection and hurt… and then, there were the stars in the sky… those beautiful pieces of God’s creation that still even now are capable of evading explanation…

It’s at times like these that I remember there truly is still room in this universe for the beautiful to shine through, even in a broken, miserable place… even when everything is now imperfect, they still are amazingly beautiful…

“Everything is beautiful, even when the tears are falling… I don’t need a miracle to believe…” – Starfield.

Really, who needs miracles when they happen above us every night? Sure, clouds may cover the stars, sure man’s artificial lighting dampens the illumination of these celestial bodies, but they’re always there, gazing down on us, shaking their heads gently at all of our troubles, at how superficial we little human beings can be… They shine despite all the problems on this earth… they still shine even if we have our own individual problems… Really, compared to the vastness of Creation, there can be no argument…

Yes, there’s more than a hint of irony in all of this…

How can we be so tied up in our common, everyday problems, and continue to forget that all is well, that there’s actually a creator out there who made these beautiful stars, made the mountains, made the seas with just a word…

“You stood before creation, eternity in Your hand… You spoke the earth into motion…” – Hillsong United

And it’s at times like these that I begin to imagine what a better world this place would be if we all just remembered… forgot the country borders, forgot that in order to advance, one must trample his fellow man… Even so, when all trust in mankind is shattered, there are still the stars in the sky…

The amazing aesthetics of creation are enough to drive even the most stalwart of hearts to tears… the most beautiful of emotions… the pure, sweet, powerful surrender…

Yes, beautiful is the right word for it… ;)

Ranting and raving prosaic style... is that a word?

2008-03-03T11:59:00.000-08:00

I wrote this last night, and I think it still applies today...

Another wave of emotions has crashed on me...
I feel pain, brokenness, emptiness...
I long for yesterdays, and yet loath the past...
I feel love and hate, jealousy and generosity...
It's like I'm a million people at once...

I wish I could sleep forever...
sleep is such bliss... nothing but dreams fill the mind...
I pray God doesn't take even those good dreams away...
otherewise, there'd be nothing left...

Even honesty gets old after awhile...
it is always true, yet brutal and bombastic...
like the coarse yelling of the seabirds...
Am I being too honest? Asking too many questions?
Where are the answers? I think I might explode...

must sleep... must sleep...
and yet, cant. It's a vicious cycle...
I long for sleep's ignorant bliss, yet cannot touch it without struggle...
It's there, lingering, yet is just out of reach...
like a desert oasis that is only a mirage...

God, I feel like crap...

One computer restore and a debate tournament later...

2008-02-29T11:07:00.000-08:00

I am back!! Whoo! So my computer got pwned by a virus, and we got pwned in debate... but i am back, and so is my computer... yay...

didn't make the cut...

2008-02-20T16:19:00.001-08:00

so starbucks called... and i didn't get the job. oh joy. haha.

welp, to look for another job... i still have that quizno's application...

i have another headache... crapsticks... "I can't get away... can't get away..." (yeah, the song that's playing.)

it's that time and mood again...

2008-02-19T22:07:00.000-08:00

I needa write a song...

to get all this crap off my chest...

Six Feet Under the Stars

2008-02-19T18:40:00.000-08:00

Yes. good song... by All Time Low. You should go check it out...

"Time to lay claim to the evidence...
Fingerprints sell me out
But our footprints washed away
From the docks downtown
It's been getting late for days
And I feel myself deserving of a little time off
We can kick it, hang for hours
And just mouth off about the world..."

It's so catchy.

I feel like a loser for listening to the new Simple Plan record. It's like... ok. pretty good... but it's still emo... why am I listening to it? i don't even know...

Whatever, All Time Low is cooler than Simple Plan! WOOT!

trust...

2008-02-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

"can't trust anyone at all... not your best friend or even your wife..."

I think Mr. Jon Foreman was on to something with that phrase... hmm...

So...

2008-02-09T19:18:00.001-08:00

soo... I'm stuck in a predicament, and I have a theory for why this is the case.

As a society, we have become so focused on the hit song, the hit single. The labels, radio stations, and teenybopper fans all demand that HIT SONG from a band, or else they would doom them to failure and utter oblivion. Which brings me to the predicament. I can't write something without wishing it was a million times better. This is a direct result of a comparison-based approach. Art should never be compared. But in this day and age, there's no way we can avoid comparing our creations to other peoples'. Sucks. just like the whole day today... I seem to be having a lotta crummy days lately...If i told you the reason, you would either laugh hysterically or disown me or flood me with questions. So too bad. Not telling, unless you're special... ^^

OneRepublic is a band full of Christians! (faith, not genre)

2008-02-08T11:56:00.001-08:00

So i was reading the liner notes for OneRepublic's cd, Dreaming Out Loud, and they all thank Jesus and God for their music.

So they're another band that's Christian by faith, but not musical genre! Amazing. Oh, btw, their song is "Apologize", you know that one that has been all over radio and the one that Timbaland eh eh ehed... "It's too late to apologize... it's too late..."

So now, we've got The Fray, Lifehouse, U2, Switchfoot, Anberlin, and OneRepublic as several prominent mainstream acts that have faith as their basis for songs. Awesome!

oh, the stench!

2008-02-06T11:55:00.001-08:00

our loft, which is this nice little room with computers and books in it, smells horrible right now. My brother just brought this hot compress thing up for his ankle, for just a minute or two, and now it smells! OHHH!!! I'm gonna die of the stench... ewww...

but yeah, besides that, I feel a lot better now. Not as unstable as yesterday... thank God...

ahh... the storm..

2008-02-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

so this ^ is me. I'm the tree.

Please...

2008-02-05T09:06:00.001-08:00

go away... all of you... just... go away... please...

Turmoil...

2008-02-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

"My mind is in turmoil...
everything around me is burning away..."

So over the past... i dunno... three, four days, maybe the past week... so many things have developed around me, so many things have been dumped into my mental psyche... so many bad, so many beautiful, amazing things, and many unimportant things also... and I just feel like I'm drowning in it all... like a maeltrom sucking unsuspecting, helpless ships into Davey Jones' locker...

Now if you're thinking, "man, what's wrong with this dude?", I'd like to humbly apologize... I'm just venting, and whining and complaining, and forgetting that homework needs to be done... I'll get over it.

Congrats, New York Giants. You succeeded in reversing the course of history. New England Patriots, shame on you... shame on you all...

Lakers, I love you. Pau Gasol!!!!

Its freezing!

2008-02-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

so cold... i feel like im living inside an ice cube...

go ahead you east coast people laugh at me for feeling this way in 59-degree weather. Go ahead. lol. But its still freakin cold... ~shivers~

Winter rules... maybe my favorite season... besides fall. Fall, which is obviously gone, is a time when you really get to reminisce about things... like how the summer went, the fun times we have, the songs that turn out to be soundtracks of our summer, and the ever-present need to go to school. What fun...

Winter, however, is when there's rain (or snow in the colder parts). Such a sweet and beautiful release, rain is. It's like bursting into tears, when the skies have decided they cant handle it anymore, and that rain is like the crying of a broken-hearted being... When I was little, my mom used to tell me that rain was like God was crying, and the earth was there to receive His pain, His sorrow... His pain for this lost and broken world. Of course, she didn't say that in that profound way, cuz i wouldn't have understood it. But its true.

Maybe that's why I love the rain so much... maybe its the feeling of finally throwing off that mask, that pseudo-hard facade, and letting go... of the pain, the hurt, and the sorrow. Great stuff. I love the rain.

Think like Jack

2008-01-31T21:15:00.000-08:00

I wish i could be as dashing and charming and an overall problem-solving-genius like Jack Sparrow was... CAPTAIN Jack... sorry...

I'm gonna need that kinda wit right now, and i just dont have it

Well...

2008-01-26T22:12:00.001-08:00

I made it! I made it friends!! now the wait for the grades... oh snap. i forgot about that... =p

A word about finals...

2008-01-26T14:02:00.001-08:00

"And I... I am... finally wakin' uuuhhuuuuupppp!"

Ok so, here's the deal. I have this big time british lit final... its only 10% of my grade, but its still pretty hardcore.

I will try to get it done "by the time this night is over..." See you on the other side... if I make it... haha

Rain...

2008-01-24T20:06:00.000-08:00

I love the rain... such a beautiful type of weather... favorite!!! <3

rain rain... stay the same... come again, but stay today... I love the rain!

Drew: "sick... sickness or health..." Jerome: "Sick!"

2008-01-15T10:52:00.000-08:00

haha. i just love that line... even though prolly all of you wouldn't understand it at all...

so I just got over a nasty sick... sickness... (heh). It's pretty funny, cuz just about a week or so ago, I felt invincible... like the world couldn't do anything to me. I mean, I ate Chik-fil-a (not too bad, but still fast food) on a Wednesday, and In-N-Out Thursday and Friday. You might be thinking, yeah, big deal. but i dont generally eat fast food three days in a row. (and I hope none of you do either...)

Also during those three days, I got minimal sleep because of debate. So at this point, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Hey, I ate three fast food meals in three days, oh and I drank way too much soda over those three days too, and didn't feel too bad...

So anyways, the week after that, i got a minor cough, which died off within hours... so I was thinking, sweet! I'm ok then...

then yesterday, I got hit with a pretty nasty infirmity... I'll spare you the gruesome details... but lets just say I was in bed all day long with a severe headache, amongst other things... but today, the aftermath, I'm feeling ok now...

Funny how God never fails to "put us in our place." No one here is invincible... heh. I guess what I learned is that we need to watch out for the "temple" of God, which is all of us, both the physical and the spiritual.

So i suppose, what I'm trying to say is, dont eat in-n-out too much. Yes, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing... lol

peace out

Happy New Year's!

2008-01-01T11:36:00.000-08:00

What a year. there were trials, tribulations, but triumph and victory as well. '07, it's been cool and fun... peace out.

God, thank you thank you thank you. It's all because of you. May the fire that was started last night never go out...

I Wanna sing...

2007-12-28T20:05:00.000-08:00

put down tracks for a new song i wrote called Not Giving Up Hope. Im really excited about this song... its cool like that...

Im not sure if thats the final title or not... background harmonizing = pretty sweet. The Beach Boys were and still are the masters at it.

And looks like New Year's at our church is going to be something special. come on over if you have time and wanna countdown with us... pretty sweet what's gonna to go down... God is a sweet homie G, fosho.

pace out...

Happy Christmas

2007-12-24T10:09:00.000-08:00

"The wind is piercing my soul..."

Happy Christmas everybody. I know its Christmas eve and all, but tomorrow will be a day consumed with spending time with fams, cuzins and all... busy. So yeah, merry Christmas, here's to many more...

"And so this is Christmas... and what have you done...?
Another year over... a new one just begun..." - John Lennon

Venting...

2007-12-17T16:56:00.001-08:00

AAARRRRGGGHGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there. i feel better now....

Overthinking...

2007-12-17T11:17:00.000-08:00

sucks. I always take things aside from face value. When someone says something, there's always this paranoia in me that makes me think twice about what they're saying... God, it sucks... "There's just too many scenarios too analyze..."

procrastinating... and other things

2007-12-10T10:05:00.000-08:00

God, I hate writing british lit essays. I mean, I'm a writer by nature, I suppose, but British lit goes against my nature! ahha. It's so incredibly stupid... and pointless... so I've decided to procrastinate... not good. dont follow my example... it hurts all the other things you needa do...

Erg. God, please send a miracle for a certain production we're working on...

God, when can I have free time to track all these songs I have? Please make time for me somehow...

Debate... is cool. I like debate. Debate doesn't like me. we make a great couple.

dang procrastination... rawr

ehh... eh, under my umbrella...

2007-12-07T09:50:00.000-08:00

I feel better today... that tightness in the chest isn't there anymore...

yesterday felt like crap... I dont even know why... it was one of those days...

i seem to be getting those kinds of days a lot. maybe it's just my mentality... kinda like Charlie Brown... but im kinda over it now...

its freezing here... dang...~grabs sweater~ so un-California... oh oh! and ~grabs umbrella... ella... ella... eh... eh... eh...~ ;)

Prince Caspian's coming out soon! Looks frickin awesome! Watch that instead of Golden Compass....

down with Golden Compass. haha

hola amigos

2007-12-06T10:21:00.000-08:00

Jack's mannequin is simply amazing... I gave that Everything In Transit cd a listen again for the first time in months...

all i can say is, that cd = genius. Andrew Mcmahon has a near-psychotic view on life, and it kinda matches my frame of mind right now... encouraging to know I'm not the only pschomaniac in this world...

----------------------------------------

Jon Foreman, on the other hand, has his head on straight. Go get his ep on itunes. Deep lyrics and excellent musicianship. Kinda like a modern-day John Lennon. Those tunes have helped a lot too...

----------------------------------------
But yeah, I'm pretty ticked that the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim let one of the most electrifying, A-Rod-esque young hitters get away. We're talking about Miguel Cabrera, of late from the Marlins. We had him! Arte, you made your first big mistake by mouthing off to the media about ... arg. nevermind. sorry, if nobody got what I was saying there...

-----------------------------------------
"Cuz I want someone to share my smile... to share the pain..."
Might Have Ben Hur - Switchfoot

UC Irvine Show Pt. 2: Switchfoot Brings the ROCK!

2007-11-29T10:23:00.001-08:00

Pt. 2 (for Pt. 1 of this review, go to this post)

After about half an hour of stage prep work (after all, this was the MAIN attraction of the night), it was time. The lights dimmed as the band took the stage, to veritably thunderous applause. You could just feel the atmosphere shift, from the poppy, feel-good of RK and Ruth to the down-dirty rock show feel of Switchfoot’s set.

The band came out and played the opening riffs of “Meant to Live,” with Jon Foreman already in a climbing mood, rockin’ out on one of the boxes in front of the crowd barrier. See picture below:

With that teaser, they began to play “Oh! Gravity.” to the cheers of many in the crowd. Personally, it seems more of an obligatory song at this point than anything else, as it was a single, and is the theme song of the popular MTV show “Life of Ryan Sheckler.” The guys did play it with all they got though. A few minutes after the final chords of “Gravity.”, the unmistakable riffs of “Stars” could be heard. Great energy, once again.

They played through the rest of their set with equal energy, equal reckless abandon (especially on Jon’s part), and just pure joy. Notables were the new mash-up version of “Gone/Crazy In Love,” which was pretty entertaining, to say the least.

(American Dream Freeze)

After most of this first part of the set, the band began to settle into a more profound energy. Yes, hits like “Stars”, “This Is Your Life”, and “Gone”, as well as “American Dream” were filled with energy and crowd support, but the night began to turn when Switchfoot played “Dirty Second Hands.” I’d already heard this song live, but it was just as amazing watching it again. Dedicating the song to the thrift stores across America, Jon ranted and raved through the song, singing “here’s the face of everything the breaks you down… are you really as tough as you think?” The raw tenacity and emotion put into this song really set the tone for the rest of the song, and the rest of the evening, especially when Jon pulled one of the drummer Chad Butler’s cymbals and pounded it to oblivion during the rockin’ interlude. Guitarist Drew Shirley’s skillful guitar work shone brightly here, just as brightly as the breath-taking strobe lighting that ensued during Jon’s massacre of the cymbal.

But the song did come to an end, sadly. But shifting from the raging wail of “Dirty,” Chad began to play the drum intro to “We Are One Tonight.” Jon introduced the song as a rock-show song; back as a little kid in San Diego, he felt the connection, at least for one night between perfect strangers that can be had at a rock show. “But if this is a song about unity, then it’s a song about a fight… a fight!” he declared. From the anthemic chorus “We are one tonight, and we’re singing it out” to the slow interludal “slow this evening down, slow it down, slow it down…” ineterspersed with words from “Shadow Proves the Sunshine”, the song bred in many of us that night that rock show feel. We truly were one, singing out as one voice!

That feeling continued, when Jon welcomed to the stage “the Rrrrruth’s, and the Rrrrelient K’s, ladies and gentlemen!” to play the tour song, “Rebuild.” Jon talked about how in the wake of the fires in San Diego, and the fires that consumed Relient K’s tour bus earlier this summer, the song took on a new meaning for him. Then the song commenced, with every single band member from all three bands having fun and singing together, “oh way oh, we’re the regeneration…” It was truly fun to see all the guys on stage just having a good time.

“On Fire” introduced, for the first time in the set, a calm, introspective, yet uniting song. The distinctive keys of Jerome Fontamillas’ piano and Jon’s celloist friend Keith Tutt setting the tone, Jon went full-effort into this song, even going out into the crowd, as is his habit. After yeahhaahhaahing the song out there for awhile with “one big family,” Jon called up the band’s latest hit “Awakening” by saying, “you’re gonna help us start this off!”

This was the most fun I think of the whole set. Almost everyone was jumping, singing “Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain… WE’RE AWAKENING!!!” This song has meant a lot to me since I first heard it, and singing it with a thousand other people makes it even more impactful. Fun stuff.

“Meant to Live” began slow, with Jon talking about how “we breathe in, we breathe out… and nothing happens! This can’t be what these gifts were given to us for… every breath is a gift.” Then, before we know it, “We were meant to live…” was echoing off the rafters of Bren in a very U2 fashion, and the teaser we heard at the beginning of the set was completed with the full song.

The funny thing is, at the end of this song, streams of people were leaving, thinking the show was over. After all, the guys were off the stage, the place was dark… but wait! Why is this crazy kid yelling “It’s not over!! It’s NOT OVER!!!” Maybe we should stay…? That crazy kid was yours truly, yelling at the people passing by, pleading with them not to leave. Haha. That was fun. Anyways, Keith the celloist and Jon returned to stage, to play a beautiful rendition of A Walk to Remember hit “Only Hope.” Hearing it live gets me every time. Beautiful. Then, the rest of the band returned as well, and they drummed, strummed, played, and wailed “Dare You to Move,” a powerful ending to a powerful night…

Setlist
1. Oh! Gravity.
2. Stars
3. This Is Your Life
4. Gone/Crazy In Love mash-up
5. American Dream
6. Dirty Second Hands
7. We Are One Tonight
8. Rebuild
9. On Fire
10. Awakening
11. Meant to Live

Encore
12. Only Hope
13. Dare You to Move

UC Irvine Show Review Pt. 1

2007-11-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

When: November 27, 2007
Where: UC Irvine's Bren Events Center
Who: rock bands Switchfoot, Relient K, and Ruth

My show experience began long before the actual show; it began with the sad disappointment of finding the floor tickets for the Bren Events Center in UCI all sold out. And this happening just two or three days of pre-sale closing! I consider this one of those “beautiful letdown” moments; Although I was bummed at missing out on floor seats, I was pretty stoked that tickets were selling out that fast! After overcoming the initial despair and said letdown, I quickly accosted my mom, and we got ourselves tickets for section 120. Little did I know that we had acquired seats in the uppermost row, the “nosebleeds” of UCI’s Bren Events Center. Since this was a relatively small basketball gym however, it wasn’t too much of a problem. I recruited my good friend Jason to come with me to the show, and his mom finally said yes. So we were off!

We got to Bren at around 6:30ish, and we wandered around, and I bought the bootleg/tour program thing, and finally got the Photobook. Needless to say, it’s awesome. I’m sorry… it really is…

7:00 came, and Ruth took the stage for a solid 4-song set. The only song I knew by them is “You Are,” but the rest were pretty solid too. I think they’ll do well in the future. At this point, the floor area was looking about half-full…

After the usual stagework in between sets, Relient K took the stage, to less-than-thunderous applause. I was surprised at how little of the people there actually knew any of their songs. I mean, this was the band that was on MTV a few years ago. Then I realized that the culprit could verily be our Orange County Christian radio station, KFSH, who happens to never play Relient K, and only play Switchfoot’s older material sporadically. They’re playlist consists of 10-year old Christian songs and regurgitated tunes from days past. Anyways, that’s my theory. Enough on that.

Relient K did put on a pretty sweet show, with Matt Thiessen consistently switching between keys and Guitar. The set started with “I So Hate Consequences,” with the primal intro “I’m good good good to go! I’m good good good to go…!” They blazed quickly through some of their other songs, including 2005’s hit “Be My Escape” and even covered “Head Over Heels” by Tears For Fears before segueing into their own 80’s inspired tune, “In Love With the 80’s.” At some point, the lights went out, and the stage crew brought out an inflatable igloo, all while “Christmas Time Is Here” was playing in the background. Interesting, but painfully cheesy. Once the new igloo was set up, Thiessen heartily greeted the new inflatable polar bear sitting next to the igloo, then introduced the tune “Sleigh Ride” off the band’s brand new “Let It Snow…Let It Reindeer” Christmas record. To top this off, the stage rafters began spraying out “snow.” Yes, it does snow in California!

Another highlight was when the band called up three fans to play the last part of their dance floor hit “Sadie Hawkins Dance.” It was something special to see, and probably was the most awesome time for those three fans, one playing guitar, the other two playing percussion. Once this was over, the band played one more, their big 2006 hit “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been,” and it was time for Switchfoot…

to be continued...

Edit: Go here for Pt. 2 of this review

Christmas 07 Poster! (Christmas Blog Pt. 3)

2007-11-24T17:38:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T11:38:00.000-08:00

Thank you God, for the air I breathe... for this computer I'm typing on... for the ipod sitting next to me, for the beautiful music playing on the stereo, for my mom who had me, and is making food right now... yumm...^^

Thank you God for my friends, the people who help me be who I am, and are able to knock me back in line, if I walk out of it. Thank you for sending your Son to come and save us from ourselves...

Thank you for the opportunity to serve You, and thank you for Switchfoot. Keep them safe this holiday season, and keep them safe for the rest of their tour...

Thank you for giving me my brother, who's always helping me to build patience...

thank you thank you thank you! Can I have Guitar Hero? Thanks again!!! Thanks a bunch! I love You God!

rrrmm...

2007-11-20T13:51:00.001-08:00

Money sucks; it should die and go to hell...

less is more... more or less... (Christmas Blog Pt. 2)

2007-11-09T11:29:00.000-08:00

so yeah, this year, there's a lot less actors/crew/dancers/backstage pass-holding-peoples/innocent bystanders...

does that mean it's any less important? I hope not. I'd like to think that anything we do at church is highly important. If there's one person involved, we should have everyone behind it... when there's a thousand people (like last year) involved, it's equally important for everyone to be fully in.

I hope the fact that this is a "smaller-scale" production isn't clouding anybody's vision of the purpose... which is to touch people's lives.

with that said, songs for the demos have been recorded. Yayness... burning to cd as I speak... yayness again!

Christmas Blog pt. 1

2007-11-05T23:17:00.000-08:00

For the actual blog, go here.

So yesterday (Sunday) was the “official” start to this year’s Christmas production at church. The auditioning process was an interesting experience, and I believe something that was pretty sweet. All the people who tried it out did awesome, and it was pretty fantastic to see such talent… and I’m not just saying that to be a suck up or anything, trust me…

But yeah, it’ll be interesting to see what comes of all this. I mean, while writing the story plot, there was really no big “WOW! This would go perfect in a Christmas production” moment. No huge epiphanies or amazing, creative, revelations of epic proportions. Just a teenaged dude, hangin out in his room, trying to make sense of the way this world spins… and then I guess you could say God entered the house… and compelled the pen in my hand to write what He wanted to say. The way I see it, sometimes the best and most beautiful things we humans can create are not our own… they were made not by sinful hands, but heavenly hands...

Writing down a song or a poem, or some other form of art, is like digging and exploring. Sometimes, you find this immense city that existed long before you walked this earth… you just somehow stumbled across it. But sometimes, you just find a pile of dirt. My hope is that this story is an immense city—and in no way am I crediting myself in this amazing archaeological discovery… it’s all up to the “Big Man Upstairs.” So yeah. Peace out peeps!

time to get going...

2007-11-04T22:08:00.000-08:00

pressing on pressing on...

so yeah. we did auditions today for Christmas. Everyone did great... and reviewing the tape confirmed it. Exciting times...

anyways... we need to fight for our lives. we have to! It's the only way we can prevent another great snatching-awayness in our church and family, and what-not...

Tired... dead-tired... my limbs hurt to the bone... my spirit is on the ground... panting for air... but.. gotta keep fighting... gotta keep going... pressin on...

Switchfoot releases new song called "Rebuild" under Lowercase People Records...

2007-11-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

Matt Thiessen from Relient K sings on this song, and Dustin Ruth from Ruth plays harmonica... Go download it (by clicking on the picture!)

(you can donate to Habitat For Humanity if you'd like to support the cause)

Halloween...

2007-10-31T18:05:00.000-07:00

sucks...

I have to hide in a little room so we don't have answer the little kids' pitiful calls for halloween... haha

Thunder...

2007-10-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

"maybe there's a way out...

Your voice, was a soundtrack of my summer, do you know you're unlike any other..."

I'm listening to Thunder, by Boys Like Girls, and suddenly am super struck by it.. weird...

MAN! i NEED to stop thinking and procrastinating... back to work...

Numb...

2007-10-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

It's that feeling when you've been punched in the stomach...

when you get this fire in your belly... when everything starts to hurt... but doesn't...

It's like the feeling Landon got when he found out Jamie had cancer in A Walk to Remember...

It's like Tom Delonge, Travis Barker, and Mark Hoppus breaking up one of the biggest bands in the world... and hating each other for it...

And we oftentimes want to just roll up in a ball and give up... stop trying...

I wish we could all have motivation that can move mountains... but quite frankly, I'm lacking in that department... when people dare me to move and urge me to peel myself up off the hurting ground, I wish I could shut them out completely and sink into an ever deepening hole of self-pity and doubt...

THANK GOD we're all not like that. Thank God we DO sometimes struggle to our feet... San Diegans, I'm proud to call you guys and gals my neighbors to the south. Thanks for pulling through, helping each other, and lifting yourselves up off the floor, even amidst unimaginable, near-hellish tragedies... Keep praying for the fires...

may the earth have peace and love for at least one night... may God show His mercy ever truer. I dare you to move...

Fires...

2007-10-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

This has been one of the most surreal weeks... there's like over a dozen major fires burning throughout California... thousands upon thousands evacuated... it's like something out of a disaster film. And people in South OC are being surrounded on all sides... there's the fire in Irvine to the north, then there's the Carlsbad and Camp Pendleton fires to the south... It's pretty crazy... Such a disaster will go down with Katrina as one of the worst in recent memory... Our prayers go out to the firefighters... my new heroes!!

"Here we are now, we want the sky to fall and rain... WE'RE AWAKENING!!!"

"RAIN DOWN!! Southern California's singing RAIN DOWN!!!!"

Camp Pendleton was burning... not sure if it still is... that's like 15 minutes down the road... freaky times...

Stay safe everyone... and may God have mercy on us all...

Switchfoot/Relient K Appetite For Construction Tour

2007-10-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

Go to a show. I'm going to the Irvine one in November. It's for a good cause too! For every ticket, one dollar will be donated to Habitat For Humanity.

2007-10-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

I needa break something...

that's all...

2007-10-11T21:06:00.001-07:00

-__-

Living is (not) simple...

2007-10-11T10:12:00.000-07:00

“Living is simple
It's gravity
Gravity isn't so hard
Living is simple
it's entropy
Entropy, falling apart
I'm falling apart again
…”

What a biting falsehood. Living is not simple… living is entropy… we’re falling apart. I share a common theory with a friend of mine, and it’ this: That without an outside force, mankind and its social aspect are destined to fall apart in the end… a social entropy if you will. Then how, without an outside force, did mankind not see its end long ago? There must be an outside Force at work, keeping mankind together, barely. Thanks Jon, you continue to inspire me with your deep thinking, amazing tunes, and over-all ridiculously-seriousness…

“when everything inside me looks like everything I hate…
You are the hope I have for change, you are the only chance I’ll take…”

Sometimes, you look for that hope, and it isn’t there. You cry out, looking for an outlet, a change from the humanity and filthiness of the world, but you can’t find it…
Yeah, so there’s some things in this world that are hard to cope with, and sometimes its just a testing time… a time to reflect and think.
But for the time being, when all you feel is a numbness, a weariness, its difficult… It’s crazy how life goes around in circles…

I needa get something to eat… It’s been said that I’m a product of the rambling blogger/xanga, mtv generation. Sure… whatever… I guess its true… so what’s wrong with that?

“Living is simple
It's gravity
Gravity isn't so hard
Living is simple
it's entropy
Entropy, falling apart
I'm falling apart again

Living is simple
And breathing is easy
it's easy to do
Living is simple
And losing is easy
I'm losing my cool
I'm losing my cool again

All will be made well
Will be made well
Will be made well
Will be well

Is this fiction?
Is this fiction?
Hope has given himself to the world
Is this fiction or divine comedy
Where the last of the last finish first
Living is simple

Living is dying
Your mercy, Your mercy
Is how I believe
Living is dying
I can't understand it
I'm down on my knees
Confessing my needs again

I've had my choices
I've chosen today
I've had my choices
The choices remain”

"May we never ever forget..."

2007-09-11T20:55:00.001-07:00

Such a touching video... I'd like to dedicate this post to all those who perished on 9/11/01.

May we never forget...

yes...

2007-09-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

"I'm fallin' apart... barely breating...
with a broken heart... that's still beating..."

"twenty-four oceans...
twenty-four skies...
twenty-four failures...
in twenty-four tries..."

one of those days when nothing feels right... when all the things that have bothered you throughout the week come pouring in like a rushing flood...

its like you can't even pinpoint what the problem is... you just feel this uneasiness in your soul... to the very core of your being...

and when you don't even know what it is... that's the worst part...

Sorrow... Awesome song...

2007-07-31T10:12:00.000-07:00

"Oh, guide me now, for I can't see...
a reason for this suffering and this long misery...
what if every living soul could be upright and strong...
well then I do imagine there will be sorrow... no more...

When the soldiers lay their weapons down...
when the kings and the queens relinquish their crowns...
when the only TRUE MESSIAH rescues us from ourselves...
It's easy to imagine there will be sorrow... no more..."

I wish this world was perfect... but since it isn't, we should make the best of what we have... i suppose...

Sometimes...

2007-07-13T01:14:00.000-07:00

There are some things in this life that we will never truly, fully understand... like love for example. For every person who finds true love, there are a gazillion others who have their hearts broken, in some way or another... WHY??

Why the freak am I thinking about this? I needa sit in front of the tv or computer all day and nerd out or something. Love is too complicated... love is a fast song, which sometimes we just can't keep up with... love is patient and kind, and gentle. That is true love... and that true love is hard to find... and, once you find it, it's hard to keep.

ARG! Stupid stupid! Why the hell am I thinking about this? Good night. Sorry, I'm just being moody... I can't even understand my own mood swings...

Tired...

2007-06-18T21:47:00.001-07:00

that's all. Sick and tired of all this crap. I'm not that stupid...

so much for summer...

2007-06-11T13:51:00.001-07:00

Man, I was planning on doing a little History here, a little literature there, then play my guitar all day or listen to music all day. Oh well. So much for summer. That's my random complaint of the day. Peace out!

2007-05-25T08:13:00.001-07:00

Ugh... im so sore...

Wednesday was senior ditch day. Basically, we juniors kidnapped the seniors and we all went out for a nice day at the beach. Well, while all the little kiddies (I mean, my fellow juniors) were snorkeling, I was climbing rocks and trying to look all philosophical. Growing bored of that, I decided to climb back down. Guess what happens next?

haha. I step on a slimy rock, and slip, and fall smack on my side into the rocks at the bottom of the ocean floor. ~the crowd cringes with a collective "Oh!"~

Yes, the results: a torn piece of skin off my left foot, a few scrapes and scratches here and there, and an aching body. Cheery! haha

Restless...

2007-05-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days man...

One of those days when you have something on your chest and you can't get it off... Like...

I've just been so distracted. I'm trying to run away from my thoughts, yet they continue to chase me, even in the obscurest places in the house...

My schoolwork is suffering...

I can't get it off...

Yeah... it's one of those days where even writing a long song doesn't really help. (I've already tried) Anyone have those kinds of days?? I'm stuck... I'm spinning in circles... I'm confused... lost...

Not completely lost though, of course… eh, I’ll get over it…

Heaven...

2007-05-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

"I need Your Love
Like the desert needs the rain
I need Your touch
Like the fire needs the flame

One moment without You near
Is heartache I cannot bear
A lifetime with You O Lord
Is Heaven I long to Know
Heaven

Come over me
Like the oceans meets the shore
Shine on my life
Like the morning
Steals the light"

I arrived at an epiphany of sorts last night... Hillsong's older songs are wayyy better than their new stuff...

...There's something in the sheer honesty and love in their old songs that has been lost in the commercialization of their newer stuff... Not that "United We Stand" or "All of the Above" are terrible albums... they're still amazing! It's just... yeah...

Ok...

2007-05-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, so um. I cleared all my internet cookies, and now its all messed up. All like, my saved user-names and what-nots are not there anymore. GRAR!

Oh, well, ill get over it. haha

2007-05-15T21:41:00.000-07:00

Everyone dies... everyone loves a fight...
Nothing is sound, nothing is right side right...

WHY!?! Why must we all fight? GAH! It's so... HUMAN! ah.... ~trails off and walks away...~

ARGH!

2007-05-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

You'll never get it. I try to be good, I try to be nice, and still you give me all this crap. I hate this. Everything I try, it's like nothing. hm... kinda like with God...

"All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags" - Isaiah 64:6

Ok, I feel a little better now.

man... it's so true...

2007-05-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

Im so confused, but not because I'm dumb. It's just that. I'm confused... that's all.

"Someday We'll Know..."

2007-05-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

"Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can’t stop driving I don’t know why
So many questions, I need an answer
Two years later you're still on my mind

Whatever happened to Amelia Earheart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?

Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

Oh, Someday we’ll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we’ll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we’ll know
Why I wasn’t meant for you...

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Or what the wind says when she cries?
I’m speeding by the place that I met you

For the ninety-seventh time...Tonight

Someday we’ll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we’ll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we’ll know
Why I wasn’t meant for you...
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

Someday we’ll know
Why Samson loved Delilah?
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you’ll know
That I was the one for you....

Open up the world

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow

Watched the stars crash in the sea

If I can ask God just one question

Why aren’t you here with me tonight?

Oh, Someday we’ll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we’ll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we’ll know
Why I wasn’t meant for you...
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah"

Yup yup. Someday, we shall all know why things happen! Someday, we can ask God why things happened the way they do?

And He will tell us! He'll tell us everything, and it will be soooo clear! Oh my, I really can't wait till that day!

sometimes... i just wonder what'd it be like...

2007-05-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

to be on a beach, late at night, walking around. To hear the sounds of the roaring waves and cool, sand at my feet. What would I be thinking then? Would I be in a good or bad mood? Would I be philosophical or just plain thankful? What'd it be like?

Then, after that, I'd go meet up with a close friend at some late-night coffee shop, or something, and talk about life and existence. Then, we'll talk about the way things were, and the way things are now. We'll talk about how much we have changed over the years. We'll talk about what'd it be like to have families someday, to get old and die... and go to heaven... And then, we'll go back out to the beach and sing at the top of our lungs, some of our favorite songs... haha.

Wow, that just got me in a very melancholy mood. Man, late-night walks at the beach will really get to you... I dunno... phew... and I haven't even tried it yet... I'm just sitting here typing away at this piece of machinery...

some random interview

2007-05-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

download

dreams...

2007-05-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

are dreams real...? Are they real messages to us, from above? Or are they merely results of stimuli from our brain? Some dreams seem so real, yet, we are glad to wake up from them.

But are dreams real?

Ok, yeah...

2007-05-01T22:43:00.000-07:00

Alright then. Leave me alone. Please. There. Happy?

"Life is beautiful..."

2007-04-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

"...but it's complicated, we will barely make it.
We don't need to understand
there are miracles, miracles..."

Vega 4

Lifehouse

2007-04-25T18:15:00.001-07:00

"there's something about you now... I can't quite figure out...
Everything she does is beautiful, everything she does is bright..."

I like Lifehouse...

2007-04-18T21:00:00.001-07:00

Ok... im confused...

What the...?

2007-04-15T20:24:00.000-07:00

Freakin... ugh... oh my God...